The most unforgettable event in my life is my eighteenth birthday. This day was wonderful and unforgettable, because my senior high school friends gave me a surprise birthday party.
They planned to hold my birthday party at a hotel. This was very special, because we all needed to wear pajamas. Say something in other words, we held a pajama party!!
First of all, one of them lied to me that she wanted to date her boyfriendat hotel, but she felt afraid of coming alone. Therefore, she asked me to go with her. Then, she brought me to get to in front of a door of the room, when the door was opened, they gave me a surprise by saying to me "Happy birthday." At the moment, I was deeply touched by their plan.
After that, they presented a birthday cake, a pair of pajamas and birthday gifts to me. They asked me to change my clothes into pajamas, so I just did it. They prepared plenty of food, pizza, fried chicken, soda and bitter tea, for example. The most unforgettable thing in my eighteen birthday party was bitter tea, because it tasted very bad!! Unfortunately, they asked me to drink all bitter tea!! Well, I really appreciated them but bitter tea.
In brief, I had a unforgettable eighteenth birthday party in my life. =)
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回覆刪除Hi Alva,
回覆刪除a. This sounds like a fun party and sure is unforgettable.
b. The narration is clear, and the grammar used is fine, too.
c. Some minor mistakes are found as follows:
1. The most unforgettable event in my life was my eighteen birthday.
eighteen 改 eighteenth; was 改 is, 因為她現在還是你的most unforgettable
2. This day was wonderful and unforgettable, because my senior high school gave me a surprise birthday party.
你的my senior high school是不是少了什麼?
3. They planned to hold my birthday party at hotel.
hotel可數
4. This was very unique, because we all needed to wear pajamas.
在這裡用special會比unique語氣順一點
5. First of all, one of them lied to me that she wanted date with her boyfriend at hotel, but she felt afraid of coming alone.
第一、date的用法是: she wanted to date her boyfriend或 she wanted to have a date with her boyfriend
第二、come跟go你有一點搞混喔
6.....when the door was opened they gave me a surprise and said to me “Happy birthday.”
改成when the door was opened, they gave me a surprise by saying to me "Happy birthday."
7. After that, they presented a birthday cake, a pajamas and birthday gifts to me.
用a pair of pajamas
8. They asked me to change my clothed into pajamas, so I just did it.
clothed拼錯
9.They prepared a plenty of food, pizza, fried chicken, soda and bitter tea, for example.
注意plenty of不用a
10. The most unforgettable thing in my eighteen birthday party was bitter tea, because it tasted very bad!!
用第十八eighteenth
(What's bitter tea? 苦茶?)
11. Unfortunately, they asked me to drink all bitter tea!! Well, I really appreciated them but bitter tea. 哈哈